Merriam Webster defines ginger as:
a (1) : a thickened pungent aromatic rhizome that is used as a spice and sometimes medicinally (2) : the spice usually prepared by drying and grinding ginger
This really raises more questions than it answers. The foremost being, what is a rhizome? I’m guessing it’s something like this:
Think about that before you next eat Thai food. In reality, as many of you are aware, ginger is so much more:
That’s a talented and famous 20th century actress who never married Roy Rogers. Pity, as I see there could have been some real synergy there. And that’s undebatable if we’re talking nomenclature.
Could anyone forget the enigmatic Ginger from Gilligan’s Island? Destined forever to play second fiddle to Mary Ann in the hearts of me everywhere. Nonethless, this funny & plucky lass persevered and cooed her way into the dreams of many lesser men.
The Real Thing
Wow. If you’ve made it this far, you didn’t have anything better to do with your day, either! There’s often a point to what I write, and this post is no exception. Well, yeah, it is an exception, because there actually is a point.
- You can’t cook with it.
- It most definitely cannot act, most especially “mature.”
- If stranded on an island with it, pray for escape.
- It’s handy for carrying packages.
- Loves golf and vegetable ravioli.
- Possesses the most bizarre penchant for mustard droppings.
- An inhuman appetite for sandwiches.
- Exclaims “h*b*n*c*er!” at the slightest provocation.
- Will spend 10 hours taking fake online surveys in vain attempts to obtain cheat codes for MW2.
I’m not 100% certain what it is, but I can assure you that in a freakish introductory outburst, the wretched homunculous uttered the infamous words, “Call me Ginger.”
I did, however, mention that there was a point. The point being that I lost a bet, and have been forced to spend time with it. Um … er … or maybe I lost a bet and am contractually obligated to post this. Either way, it’s done.