Oct 072011

Sometimes, it’s impossible to think of what to write. Something serious? Informing on a hot topic of the moment? Or maybe just a random brain dump.

Today is one of those days. Incidentally, and beside the point, it’s also Friday.

One thing I’ve always liked doing is to blather. I’ve got a lot of experience, and many would say, a lot of skill. Witness the obvious manifestation here. So, anyhow, for starters: I like rice. Not, like, I think it’s the perfect food, but if it’s on a plate, I’ll eat it. Brown rice is the best; we all agree on that. But, what comes next? White rice? Oh my goodness, are you serious?! Nope, not in any way. White rice is slightly better than Wonder Bread, but that’s like saying slugs taste slightly better than earthworms, right? Maybe Pearl. It’s sticky and it has added nutrition. You don’t rinse it off. It can be used for anything, and it tastes delicious. Get on board that, or you’re unaligned with my darling wife. I’ve found that to be risky.

You’re wondering (if I say you’re wondering, it’s a certainty that you are. If you didn’t realize that, perhaps you’d best look inward as to what else you’re missing), “why rice?” The easy answer is — TV. On a conscious level, it’s the only answer. Great semi-interesting documentary on it just ended. It is safe, therefore, to blame yet another thing on television. It’s a pipeline of filth. I don’t really believe that, but some wackadoo guy on the news said it sometime back in the ’80s and it stuck with me.

“But wait,” you may be saying (it’s optional this time because I’m not sure of it), “what ‘it’ does ‘it’s’ refer to?” Let’s examine that:

A) There doesn’t seem to be any good way to appropriately punctuate “it’s” in the middle of a quotation.
B) ‘It’ was intended to refer to TV.
C) You’d also have some reason to assume I was referring to rice. That’d be a stretch, but my ambiguity isn’t your fault.
D) From an extreme point of view, the world of words is your oyster in your final, subjective decision of what ‘it’ referred to. You’ll be wrong if you land upon anything but TV, but civil disagreement is healthy in a society. Even in a blog.

So, what did you come up with? If you chose “cheesebread” that would be an interesting mental exercise. Likewise, “carbon fiber.” For now, I hope you’ll accept my recommendation of “rice.” If you still disagree, let me know.

Bicycle races are sometimes interesting to watch, but usually only when compared to golf.

And … done. Didn’t use one smiley. No italics. No bold font. Still, lots of commas and parentheses, so you still know it’s me writing. The Apostle Paul used a big signature, I use onions. I mean, other stuff, like you see up there.

Well drat, I wasn’t really done. In the time honored fifth grade tradition … there. 500 words.

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